Notes to Self

1. Fifteen single socks belonging to one boy after you have scoured his drawer, his laundry and his room is what is contributing to your current disheveled state, lack of time and future dementia.

 2.  Looking at this sweet face helps lessen the stress and frustration with number 1. 

(Look! I have teeth!)

3. Go ahead and accept that your dreams of having a baby who will be content to sit and play, after Alaina crawled at six months and has never sat a day in her life, are dashed.  Yes, your 5 1/2 month old is already up on all fours rocking back and forth.

Christmas Picture....Take One!

  I was seriously dreading excited about taking our Christmas picture. Three kids all looking at the camera with their eyes open and smiling in good light? No problem. I also wanted to get them done early, and by that I mean, in December. I am not working at all the first half of December and have lots of work the last half, so trying to make the most of it and get it all done. So, my first thought was to go to a beautiful park and have my three angelic children sit on a park bench. Yeah, scratch that. The light in our bedroom is always good, so I figured I would start there. Alaina helped me out with the test shots.

OK, the light is good although I don't like the background...

Conner joined in (we were waiting to wake Zane up from his nap so he would be super happy). Yep, light is good but man, the background is bad. 

So, lets switch perspectives on the bed.....nope, background worse. Plan B.......

We (the kids) had the idea to have Conner lay on the bottom, then Alaina, then Zane. We tested that but all I could picture was Zane tumbling off, crying and then no picture. So I tried Keith's suggestion, take it from above. Yeah, somehow that didn't look like all the cute pictures I am seeing on the photo company website. Ugh. Plan C.

We headed outside, I had the idea to have the kids lay on the trampoline. It was covered with leaves which I thought would be a very natural foundation to the picture. So I sent the kids and Keith out there while I got Zane up. Well, my sweet husband decided to sweep of the trampoline for me. Yeah. Took a test shot but not liking the trampline backdrop. Ugh.

 Plan D. The fence. Hey, it is an earthly, natural background, right? Despite the fact that you can see the neighbors junk through it, that is. Test shot with Alaina....I like. 

 OK, here we go, bring on Zane! He was happy, I was grumpy and already barking orders, but hey, we were making progress.

 Alaina, you really need to look at the camera for this to work.

 Alaina, easy on the smile, and Zane, look alive.

 OK, Conner, I need you be looking up. Please, someone look at me!

 Glad they are having fun, but at this point I was SO frustrated. It was IMPOSSIBLE to get them all looking at me. Zane was engrossed with the leaves. Probably because I never take him outside, poor kid. Yes Zane, there is a whole other world outside of our living room and Target. : )

*SIGH*

I will say, we did eventually get a good picture. In fact the Christmas pictures I ordered arrived today and I have to say, I love them. You all will just have to wait by your front doors in anticipation for the mailman to bring your card to see the final product. HA!

At least that is one thing off my list of Christmas things to do. Now on to the other eighty six things....

Conner

 I have been wanting to write about Conner for some time. He turned 9 on October 18th and while my intentions to do a birthday post (heck, even a birthday party) for him were there, it never came to fruition. So here goes. And in usual style, I am going to let pictures speak for themselves. Warning: lots of proud Mommy bragging will go on here.

Hmm...don't even know where to start. This ninth year of life has been an amazing transformation for all of us. He is at that age where he is somewhat detaching from us and venturing out. May not look like a big way from the outside, but I see it and feel it on the inside and am really proud of him. All the times I forced encouraged him to be independent has certainly paid off in dividends. I find myself allowing him to do things on his own, like pulling up to a fast food place so he can run in and go to the bathroom, allowing him to take his sister to the bathroom at restaurants (he waits outside for her of course), at the beach, giving him a key and allowing him to go up to our unit to get something and come back, even going in a store to purchase something and go through the checkout on his own. I love that he wants to do it and literally see his confidence building. Those are some ways I see it and am proud for him, but there are other moments that just touch my heart where proud doesn't scratch the surface. I see some of them around here, like these:

The novelty of a baby brother has not worn off, in fact, I see his desire to interact and connect with Zane more and more each week. This weekend, Conner and Keith went camping (where apparently

you can set up the timer on the camera and take as many "farting" pictures as you want while eating Doritos) and when he came back, he took Zane in his arms and said "How's my boy? You have me back now", in the sweetest baby voice you have ever heard. He has yet to deny my request nor complain when I say, "Can you watch your brother for me? or "Will you go talk to Zane for a minute?" Conner was even able to go upstairs get Zane out of the crib and bring him down to the kitchen for me. Sweet for me! And oh so sweet for he and Zane. His love of babies didn't start with Zane however, he had a

cousin born last January and from her birth, he has been enamored with her. (see right) It wasn't the token, "I'll hold her until I get bored", he was content to hold her and just be. This is the same kid who, on a playground will play with kids of any age. It is not uncommon for me to see him playing with toddlers even when there is bigger kids around. He will strike up conversations with Mom's, Grandmother's with no hesitation and demonstrate an innate kindness that is admirable. I say innate because I have seen it since birth and unfortunately cannot claim credit for teaching it!

What may speak more than anything to the subject of his kindness and ability to get along with kids of all ages is this:

This is Alaina's five year old birthday party. A girly girl "sleepover" (you don't really think I am crazy enough to actually have that many girls stay over do you?) and do you see who that is in the left corner of the pic? Yep, Conner. He wanted to be there every bit as much as Alaina wanted him there. That said, he will ham it up with the boys every chance he gets. Here he is with his "co-authors" at school at the book reveal party at school.  The ONE thing Conner's teacher said he could work on at 

 school was his silliness with the boys. She did add that it was a problem for all of them and hey, if he is going to have an issue in school, I will take that one! He (and we as parents) are so blessed that school comes easily for him. He is the type that can ace a test without studying and is able to comprehend concepts, especially mathematic ones, without much effort. He got straight A's first quarter and his love of school is not only reflected in his grades, but his attitude when he gets in the car at the end of the day. It is rare that I don't get "It was an awesome day!" from him. : ) Let's all pray this continues!

Not only do academic things come easily, Conner is an athlete. His favorite "subject" is recess and his competitive nature, which he is still learning to control, combined with his physical ability allows him to excel and enjoy sports. So far it has been soccer and we are holding back the lion in him that has requested tackle football since the age of 3. One day, Conner, one day. We are going to give basketball another go round this winter and and he is eager to try baseball as well. The one thing that rivals his love to be on the field would be football watching. Yep, he and his Dad have become regular football game watching buddies. In fact, last night when we were supposed to be decorating the tree, I was left alone with the ornaments as Conner sat and watched a game. Yep, it happened. The appeal and magic of Christmas Tree decorating has died it's first death with Conner. Thank you NFL. You know your son loves some football when he runs upstairs to give you a play by play of the last minutes of a game including the details of time left, penalties given, yards run and even plays used. It will be interesting to see which sport he ends up playing the most!

Okay, this post is getting WAY too long already. As you can see, I am madly in love and madly proud of this boy and could go on all day about him, but here are some moments of love that reflect those sentiments.

 Conner and I sitting in the hospital looking at Zane, talking about him and bonding over this new addition to our family. Conner's questions are always genuine, and demonstrate a mature curiosity and thirst for knowledge that I love.

These next two were from a beach trip we took when Zane was just 3 weeks old. Tell me that Conner requesting skin to skin time with his baby brother is not one of the sweetest things ever. Love. 

I was lucky enough to catch this moment. It was the first time that Zane looked at Conner. I mean, really looked at him. It fills me with anticipation to think what their relationship will be like and I feel blessed beyond belief that Conner is the big brother that God has blessed Zane with.

 

 Conner is not only great with Zane but is great with his sister. That does not mean that he doesn't annoy, aggravate and intentionally torture her. I mean, what brothers DON'T do that?? But he still loves to hang out with her. Here was a moment I caught on the beach this summer where they were sitting in the surf having a conversation for a good while

And then there is all that they do together on a regular basis. The occasional bubble bath where he keeps his sister laughing with all his inappropriateness  silliness. They still have sleepovers on a regular basis and always make some type of fort out of the furniture, his loft (see below) or have a movie night together. Their excitement over it is really remarkable. Wonder how long that will last??

 He has really struggled with Alaina in other ways. She wants his attention constantly and that takes the form of aggravating him and always wanting to be in his room. He has verbalized to e how hard it is for him sometimes and we have had many honest conversations about how difficult it can be to have Alaina as a sister, but also what a blessing. Oh how I hope God gives me the wisdom and strength to help him navigate his relationship with Alaina!

 And his Dad. What Dad is not seen as a hero by their son at some point? Conner loves his Daddy fiercely. They do things together every night. Every single night. Keith is amazing in that respect. Where I am pushing them off to bed without hesitation, Keith is always careful to consider if he has had his one on one time with them that day. Me? I am busy trying to get one on one time with myself. Just sayin. This weekend Keith cut off his long scraggly hair locks and Conner, after weeks of refusing to have his hair cut, welcomed the clippers without hesitation the same night. I feel beyond blessed to have Keith as a Dad for Conner.

 Now I know I have portrayed Conner as a saint, and while he is wonderful in so many ways, he is also a normal boy. He struggles at time with all the typical things...telling the truth, obedience, responsibility. In fact, after we left Trader Joes the other day, I found he had "stolen" a sucker out of the treasure box. While free, kids are only supposed to take one item and he had chosen a chocolate coin and wasn't supposed to take anything else. He had slipped the sucker in his pants to hide it. I called him on it and he promptly ran back in the store to put it back in the treasure box but it bothered me and I let him know. He demonstrated a big love of money (literally, the boy loves some cash) and video games. Keith and I will always be looking for wisdom in teaching him that balance and oh what challenges he will have ahead with a world that is embroiled in money and media. *sigh*

My prayer is that since I have been given this privilege to parent his amazingly beautiful creature, that I can do it to God's glory. That I can guide and lead him to know Christ and be a light for Him. I have not done the job I need to do in that area, but God has mercy and thankfully lots of it. He also has the wisdom that I will need to nurture Conner and allow all these amazing traits to blossom into full maturity where he can one day lead others, lead a family and most of all know our Father

Zane's saga in pictures...

 Decided to try to go ahead and get caught up on all the moments I have left undocumented. While my desire to account for every detail is there, the time is not and luckily there are pictures to fill in the gap, so here goes.....

Sunday morning November 4th, Conner woke up with a fever after being hoarse and snotty for a few days. I thought, "Well, here we go again" since Alaina had been at the doctor for croup the past Monday. So we stayed home from church, got him comfortable and it was mid morning that we noticed that Zane was warm. I guess as the third he tends to be an after thought, especially when there is another kid who is sick! I then noticed a few red dots on his feet. Again just thought it was a weird reaction, maybe to teething? (HA, how wrong was I?) Zane's first tooth had just broken through and he had also just gotten four immunizations the week before. Well, at bathtime that night we noticed this:

 

So, I then sent this email to family and all the nurse friends I knew:

"So last week Zane had what looked like a bug bite on one side of his face, large red dot (like below) and later that day another on the other cheek, one on his head and one on his hand. The one on his face and hand were pretty bad, in fact you can still see a scar like mark where it was. Well, yesterday I noticed a few and today we noticed his right ear was swollen and left foot was swollen and red as well as a few other dots. What the heck? Oh, and he has had a low grade fever for 24 hours. If we touch or move his ear or foot he cries, ear seems more sensitive than the foot. I think I am going to take him in in the morning to see what the heck is going on. I have checked his mattress and changed his sheets every other night.. I keep thinking they are bites, but last night he had on a footed sleeper an woke up with new red dots on the foot and leg(see below). What in the world????? (Pics don't' do it justice, foot is redder in person than the pics and the ear looks redder in the pics than it does in person. Side note, he is teething like crazy, soaking everything in drool and his first tooth broke through this past weekend. Oh, and he slept a LOT today, three naps 2+ hours.)"

So Sunday night we had a ROUGH night. Zane was up constantly, not eating good and fever was up to almost 101. I could tell he was hurting when I moved his legs too. So off we went, sick Conner, Zane and I to the pediatrician and saw Dr. Vining at sick clinic. Love, love, love our pediatrician. She was perplexed to say the least and sent us to the ER for blood cultures and antibiotics. The ER physician immediately said he needed to be kept for observation because although it could be a virus, it could also be bacterial. This was definitely the worst of the whole ordeal. I had to be with Zane while they held him down to be catheterized and an IV placed. All while he had a fever of 102.7. : ( Needless to say I lost it and my tears matched his. By noon, things were looking worse, like this....

  His left foot was hot and was developing cellulitis. You could tell that it hurt so bad. The spots were moving up his legs and getting more "angry" looking. They started IV antibiotics around 1pm.

 Once antibiotics were started and they gave him some tylenol, we were moved up to a room on the Children's ward. Cutest patient ever.

 Zane was pretty wiped out as were all of us and although holding him was what we all wanted, between the board on his arm for the IV and the five wires, it was a tangled mess. Breastfeeding him was a like a circus act! It was a blessing to see that he was responding to the antibiotics within 12 hours. He was getting lots of rest, although it seemed the minute he would fall asleep, another doctor would come in to examine him! We had the best nurse practitioner, Emily and the doctors, Dr. Honeycutt (introduced himself as Travis, love that), Dr. Adams and infectious disease legend, Dr. Ingram. You know your baby is sick when the elderly ID doctor says with bright eyes, "He was really infected!". That was a reaction to Zane's WBC count being 25,000 when the high range of normal is 15,000.

 By the next afternoon, Zane was MUCH better with fever down to 99.5, which really isn't a fever and even a little "bored". He got a visit from Nana, Papa, Ashley, Aunt Jen, Kim, Indy and Lauren. All who were sweet enough to bring snacks and treats for Mommy. : ) Even Alaina came to see Zane. Conner was all the while home from school for two days with croup. When it rains it pours, no?

 I sat in a rocker at bedside those two days and was at eye level whenever Zane would wake up. I love, love, love this picture. Not sure why, but it was a moment where he could look up, see me there and be comforted enough to not be worried about the strange environment or all the things attached to him. The look of "Mom, are we STILL here?"

 This was our set up for those two days. Amazing nurses and doctors at WakeMed. Really amazing.

By Wednesday morning, this was Zane's infected foot. 

What in the world would we do without antibiotics? 

You know, my kids have been sick with many a viruses and illnesses but never one that could have taken their life. This could have taken Zane's. So thankful that the bacteria never reached the bloodstream, which would have then infected his organs. So thankful that the pediatrician sent us over to the ER. So thankful for moments like this that make you treasure life all the more.

In the blink of an eye...

Time flies when you are having fun, but it also flies when you are a Mom of three fun or no fun! This month there have been some very fun moments, like Conner turning 9 on October 18th...

and some not so fun moments....like the 8 doctor visits we had within 14 days. Yep, all five of us were at some type of doctor in this two week span. More on that later....

I have felt so overwhelmed with "happenings" that I almost feel like I cannot catch up, however, seeing that is  really my only record of reality (lets face it, my memory of these times will not be accurate if I only use my brain), I figure something is better than nothing.

So....

Just to squeeze in a few moments from this month is better than nothing, right? RIGHT? 

Conner's last soccer game. I don't think the team won a game, but I also don't think Conner noticed. This is his fourth year playing and so far he loves every minute, well except practice, oh and sitting on the bench....so basically he just loves playing the game, just like at recess. : )

Table for five....Zane has graduated to sitting with us. Literally. We eat and he sucks on his fingers. I know you distracted by the incredibly healthy meal and fancy place settings. 

Yep, we caved. I hate that phrase "we caved", like we were beaten down and had no will power but to purchase a Wii. No, we did not cave, we DECIDED to get a Wii. More on that later. Not sure why it was such a big deal, but it was. Can you tell he likes it?

Please, someone tell me, how does a five year old learn to kick her hips out like that? Lord, help us. No, really, Lord help us for real. I cannot tell you how many outfits, hairdos and hip thrusts we see in a day. It must be innate since we completely restrict her TV viewing, right? More on this later....for now, I am off to pray for her future and mine.

The trifecta effect of birthdays....three of my most favorite people in the world. My sister in law, my son and my Mom. All October birthdays and as a family, we just combine them all into one party. Yep, that's how we roll.

Somebody is growing up and if you don't watch it and strap him in, he will arch himself right down to the floor.

Lastly...I continue on my endeavor to get ONE, just one picture of the kids where they each look halfway normal and are looking at the camera, but this, inevitably is what I end up with:

Seriously? What have they been smoking!? There was four of these pictures and this was the best. I'm not trying to be picky here, I would just like a memory where my kids do not look like they are high on something. Just sayin. I guess I will just keep trying. 

More on all this later since there are birthdays to report on, halloween pics to post and a certain unexpected hospital stay to document. For now, off to bed to soak up every ounce of rest I can get so we can wake up and do it all again tomorrow.